Paddington 2 (2017)
Hugh Grant: Phoenix Buchanan
Photos
Quotes
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Phoenix Buchanan : Exit bear, pursued by an actor... ugh!
[falls into train car]
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Phoenix Buchanan : [laughs] Oh very very funny. Anyway! They do say that at Madame Kozlova's all your dreams come true. So, if you had one wish tonight what would it be?
Paddington : Oh that's easy. I'd like to get my Aunt Lucy a birthday present.
[the crowd all say 'Aw']
Mary Brown : [quietly] Darling.
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Phoenix Buchanan : But! I do have a little bit of good news that might turn your frown, upside down.
Mary Brown : Oh yes?
Phoenix Buchanan : It looks...
[crosses his fingers]
Phoenix Buchanan : ... fingers, fingers, fingers - as though the funding may be coming through for my one-man show.
Mary Brown : Oh. Right.
Phoenix Buchanan : It's an evening of monologue and song featuring some of my better-known characters. Would you like a little preview?
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Phoenix Buchanan : [brandishes a sword] Stage combat. Level Four.
Mrs. Bird : [grabs a nearby rifle] Well, where I come from, *laddie*... they teach you never to bring a knife to a gunfight!
[cocks the rifle]
Phoenix Buchanan : I think you'll find that fires plastic darts.
Mrs. Bird : [fires a dart into the middle of his forehead] So it does.
Phoenix Buchanan : [pulls off the dart] Whereas this sword - looks very sharp!
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Phoenix Buchanan : Oh, well that sounds entirely... plausible.
Henry Brown : Does it? Great! Well, I'm delighted to say that everything seems tickety-boo.
Phoenix Buchanan : Wonderful.
Henry Brown : So! I'll nip back to the office and get the boys to type that up ASAP. And we'll hope to see you soon!
Phoenix Buchanan : Indeed! Perhaps next time, *not* in your pyjamas. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Mary Brown : [laughing] He's such a silly one!
Phoenix Buchanan : Now, now.
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[Judy and Jonathan Brown telephone Phoenix and play a recording of Felicity Fanshawe that they have secretly recorded. Phoenix doesn't realise it is a recording and thinks he is speaking to Felicity]
Felicity Fanshawe : [recording] Nice buns, by the way.
Phoenix Buchanan : I beg your pardon?
Felicity Fanshawe : [recording] Really nice buns.
Phoenix Buchanan : Thank you, darling. I've never had any complaints about Mr and Mrs Botty-Cheek.
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Mary Brown : Mysterious things have been happening all over town.
Phoenix Buchanan : Oh yes?
Mary Brown : Strange characters turning up at every landmark in that book.
Phoenix Buchanan : Are they!