- There are lots of methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice.
- If you stay in front of the movie camera long enough, it will show you not only what you had for breakfast but who your ancestors were.
- [his feelings about never having been nominated for an Oscar] I think they were afraid I'd show up at the banquet drunk, embarrassing both myself and them. But I wouldn't have, you know.
- [last words] Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
- America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.
- I like to be introduced as America's foremost actor. It saves the necessity of further effort.
- It has been said that every man must properly pay the fiddler. Alas, in my case, it happened that an entire symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.
- [after throwing a fish at loudly coughing audience members] Chew on that, you walruses, while the rest of us get on with the libretto!
- [on refusing to learn his lines when working in Hollywood] My memory is full of beauty: Hamlet's soliloquies, the Queen Mab speech, King Magnus' monologue from "The AppleCart", most of the Sonnets. Do you expect me to clutter up all that with this horseshit?
- A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
- The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.
- You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried; you float.
- My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.
- [on viewing rushes] Oh, I LOVE to see the stuff! If I can do it at the end of the day. First thing in the morning it looks like a bad dream.
- [to director Tay Garnett] If you run, they bite you on the ass, Charlie, and if you stand still, they hose you.
- [after watching Marlene Dietrich perform] She handles her body like Stradivarius used to handle his violins. And no matter what kind of finish it happens to be wearing at the time, it's still a masterpiece.
- The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.
- Paper napkins never return from the laundry. Nor love from a trip to the law courts.
- When archaeologists discover the missing arms of the Venus de Milo they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.
- Happiness often sneaks through a door you didn't know you left open.
- [on his friend, playwright 'Edward Sheldon (I)'] I'm not sure that he didn't make me a serious actor.
- [on comparing his role in Sherlock Holmes (1922) to his role in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)] Holmes is a purely static person: by that I mean a character with practically no emotions. It is naturally more difficult to play a man with no emotions than to play a man with emotions, and one must continually vary the character to make it interesting.
- [on his Hamlet] A normal, healthy, lusty young fellow who simply got into a mess that was too thick for him . . . he was a great fencer, an athlete, a man who led an active, healthy life. How can you make a sickly halfwit out of a man like that?
- [on third wife Dolores Costello] I fell in love with her instantly. This time, I knew I was right.
- There isn't any romance about how I went on stage. I needed the money.
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