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The Lost Empire (1984)
A farce among action movies
The only good thing about this movie is that is it's a farce of action movies in the 80's. Full of clichés and puns. The only stars I know well is Robert Tessier, known for his villainous roles, and Angus Scrimm, known for being "The Tall Man" in the "Phantasm" films. For the main stars, they are all hot. They provide the sex appeal and the humor throughout the film. The plot is spot on, the story is good.
So far, it wasn't a drag. There's plenty of action. And a whole lot of humor to boot.
The movie is full of clichés and puns, making it fun. For a rainy day. If anyone wants to put it down, they should be put in this film.
2.5 out of 5 stars.
Death Cruise (1974)
What a mystery
An all-star cast in a Aaron Spelling TV film. Still have Kate Jackson from "The Rookies" at the time. In the last TV movie, she was with future "Charlie's Angels" co-star Cheryl Ladd. This time she has Edward Albert playing her husband. Future "Happy Days" star, Tom Bosley is in the movie. The movie starts out with couples getting a all- expense paid cruise. By a non-existent company. The couples are being killed off one by one. And they have one thing in common, life insurance.
It was a good TV film, but sadly it was actor, Richard Long's final appearance since "The Big Valley". The movie launched "The Love Boat", years later.
2 out of 5 stars.
The Girl Who Came Gift-Wrapped (1974)
Take a chance
When you have it all, you should be happy. However, some people are not when they have it all: a good home, wealth, and happiness. For this guy, he's everything but that. He's a commitment phobe who's near 40. So when he gets a girl who's gift wrapped for his birthday. He's anything but happy. But when time passes on with her at his side, he slowly changed. He has a dog, plants, and he finally rids himself of the maid.
Five years after "The Big Valley", Richard Long has a different character from the show he was on. And Karen Valentine has a heart of gold in this movie. It would be later when "Pretty Woman" would come out to theaters. I liked it very much.
2 out of 5 stars.
Repo Man (1984)
Learning about the pros and cons of a repo man
You have a punk rocker, Otto(Emilio Estevez) who is down on his luck after losing his job at a supermarket. He finds a job as a repo man after losing his college fund to a televangelist. One car ,a vintage Chevy Malibu has a secret in the trunk. One look and the person who sees it is vaporized. All including a rival repo company are after the car. Many are getting sick from the exposure of radiation.
This movie is a classic. It could use a little bit more work. It's a mix of science fiction, comedy, and action. Since Emilio Estevez is the main star of the movie, it is not bad. It can only be seen on a special day.
2 out of 5 stars.
Disneyland: Child of Glass (1978)
Heartwarming!
I remember seeing this film one Sunday night, I was only 4. About a middle school kid in Louisiana who uncovered a restless spirit in a house he reside in. The ghost is a spirit of a young girl who was murdered by her uncle. The boy has a friend who has a aunt who takes high interest in him. The ghost gives him a riddle he must solve, and a artifact that is rightfully hers.
It was a scary film, but it has a heartwarming effect throughout. In one part, it should have been called "Dancing with Ghosts". It's because the spirit never gets a chance to dance with someone during the time she was living.
5 stars.
How to Seduce a Woman (1974)
Just for looks
Playing the love field is a dangerous game for most single people. You can easily win or lose in the game. For this guy, he was the best player ever to do this. He meets a lovely woman, he has a way with her. He's a lothario. There are many of them like him. But he's the best around. His friends talk about him when they get together.
While others are nothing but amateurs, he's tops them all. He even seduced the one who was helping him make a book. One of his friends posed as a shrink from Europe.
Being a player is a dangerous thing. You will never find true love in the world. Only heartache.
But this movie is more comedic than dramatic. It's a howl!
3 out of 5 stars.
The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper (1981)
Who says you can't take it with you?
I don't know what to say about it. This movie is as silly as it can be. They don't say anything about being based on a true story. Or anything else in the matter. But there's a person who is the most wanted for hijacking a plane. The real D. B. Cooper is running around with lots of money, and this guy who is copying the hijacking suspect is running with $200,000, and is being pursued by his old sergeant and veteran turned cop. He gets his wife to come along with the money he has. Though she is doubtful, she is willing to come along.
It's a fun film. Good to watch. A lot of laughs. And a fun ending to boot. Call it the ride of the century.
2 out of 5 stars.
Vampire Circus (1972)
Headline: It's a fangled event
It's a festival of terror here. A circus is coming to the village. And the terror begins. A vampire count resides in a castle. The people rise up and kills him. After he killed a daughter, the mother who lured her to her is ostracized by the village. But descendants are still terrorized by vampire descendants. They use a mirror to trap and kill. The surviving has fought back.
This movie is one thing I can say. A great English vampire flick that can be called intriguing. With the animals involved, it can bring some memories of the circus. When it's being run by vampires, make sure to bring the anti-vampire weapons. Otherwise, the spectators are in for a feast! 2 out of 5.
All the Kind Strangers (1974)
All in the family of a sort
Everybody wants to travel. There's a saying about don't go picking strangers. It's a sin about being unkind. But in a backwater area, there's no telling. A young kid gets a ride from the highway and is sent back home with orphan siblings. Their parents died off, and the elder son is in charge. They meet the potential people who would qualify for parents. They are either keeping, or letting go. They hide the cars of the rejected potentials. They have big guard dogs to keep the ones from escaping. This movie reminds me of either a Stephen King or Shirley Jackson novel. It's a edge of your seat type of movie.
3 out of 5 stars.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Liked it!
This is the first remake of the 1956 classic that I love. I also liked the eye trick that Brooke Adams' character did. You wouldn't find it in the original film. And the other actors in the film that made it interesting. Leonard Nimoy who was fresh off from "Mission: Impossible". I remember him well on "Star Trek" as the Vulcan, Spock. During the time of the movie, he was doing "In Search of..."
Then there's Jeff Goldblum. Way before "Tenspeed and Brownshoe" . This movie has the memories of the original. Only more sex appeal. And the hybrid man-dog, was amazing. Wonder what happened to it. I enjoyed this sci-fi masterpiece!
5 stars.
Drive-In (1976)
Funny
This movie is very amusing. It's all about the good times in a Texas town in 1976. A fictional disaster movie played. The roller skating scene is memorable. New interest. Different gangs. A pair of thieves. For the thieves, they were a bunch of bunglers. For the girl, she takes a interest in the big redhead. And the baby brother acts like a wannabe wingman. With all the characters in the film, I just wanted to have a snack.
With a bunch of unknown stars, except for Trey Wilson(1958-89) are making this movie a sleepy hit. Respect to all the people who got involved. It's a keeper for a late night romp.
2 out of 5 stars.
Supertrain: Express to Terror (1979)
Railroad to trouble
It is "The Love Boat", only with rails. Going East to West on a first time run. It's a atomic train. The most high power locomotive ever. Besides that, there's a lot of intrigue and mystery. The cast and characters are lined up. Plenty of food and fun. And lots of laughter.
It's a shame that it's short lived after a trial run. With all of the star studded cast, this was like the end of the line for the show. I was only 5 when I saw it. The pilot was more fun than the show itself.
I would call "Supertrain" a one-hit wonder. I wouldn't pit it down because it was a expensive show. Only train enthusiasts should watch it.
H.O.T.S. (1979)
A female version of Animal House!
The time of jiggle, sexual energy and total hilariousness. A bunch of Playboy bunnies and a former "Partridge Family" Star(Danny Bounaduce) play in this sex drive. "H. O. T. S" is a female version of 1978 "Animal House". The H. O. T. S consists of sorority pledge rejected by PI. The rejected pledges will get serious revenge on the opposite sorority. They go far as taking the boyfriends of the rivals. And have the most wild parties ever. They use the old hideout house that was stored some stolen money by a pair of bumbling crooks. Unknown to the oversexed sorority, they are known as passersby.
Raw and raunchy, this movie has plenty of sex appeal to throw around.
4 out of 5 stars.
The Maltese Bippy (1969)
You can bet your.....
This duo is unbelievable. From the annals of comedy, here are Dan Rowan and Dick Martin of "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" !
This is their first time on the big screen. They play movie workers who lose their place and later relocate to Flushing, NY where they find a house with a big secret. A hidden treasure in a dilapidated place house. Neighbors with a scary secret. With all these characters, who's who?
So many laughs, so many puns, it's too bad it couldn't be part of the "Laugh-In" part. I always liked the remark, "I didn't know that". And the stars, Dana Elcar, and Robert Reed(before "The Brady Bunch") made this movie very interesting.
5 stars!
Top Secret! (1984)
The silliest I have ever seen!
Before "The Naked Gun!" There's the debut of Val Kilmer in "Top Secret!" This comedy spoofs the old spy films from the time Elvis did movies.
Kilmer play a singer who goes behind the Iron Curtain(That's East Germany). He sings at a performance where a German General plots to create chaos around the world. The singer meets a lady who is fighting for the resistance of tyranny.
After finding a lot, from her father in prison to her lost love, you might think he's over his head. The Zucker brothers are a genius when it comes to making spoofs. That's when everything else comes into place. A great movie for laughs.
4 out of 5 stars.
Spenser: The Judas Goat (1994)
I don't do blood money
I started getting into the "Spenser: For Hire" craze when it went on the air. The best thing about it is The Ford Mustang. The TV show has the green one. In the TV movie, it was maroon. It was during a African summit. The family of an American diplomat was bombed. Spenser was hired to find the ones responsible. As usual, he's helped by Hawk(Avery Brooks), his strong arm informant. During his tenture in Canada, Hawk grabs him and helped him out with the investigation. After tracking down the elusive blonde, she would reluctantly help the duo. She would discover that her boyfriend is a racist terrorist.
After the mission, Spenser declined the reward.
Sometimes morals have the advantage for P. Is.
Some rewards are tanted with blood. Blood money is like a blood diamond. Very dirty.
Great cast, great story. Any time of the day this movie is great.
2 out of 5 stars.
The Astral Factor (1978)
A sci-fi version of "Psycho"
Everyone has heard and seen "Psycho". In "The Astral Factor" aka "The Invisible Strangler" it's like it, without the use of the knife. A convicted strangler in prison escaped from incarceration. While in prison, he has read books dealing with the paranormal. His powers of invisibility gives him the edge of the law. He goes out to strangle the women who put him in prison. With that new power, the law must find a way to stop him once a for all.
Since this guy is the same as Norman Bates. Mother issues.
A little more tame than "Psycho". Fun to watch. With stars like Elke Sommer, who would pass this one by. Just say that it's out of sight!
2.5 out of 5 stars.
Mama's Dirty Girls (1974)
Nice exploitation film
A family of gold diggers. What a way to go. A woman named Mama and her 3 daughters, finds a man with money, have him killed, and get the money in the process. From the last killing, she finds out that the man was a renter, not a owner. The only thing that he owns was the car. So the family goes out and find a widower who owns a motel. A perfect catch. Or is it? It turned out that the widower is a lot more sinister than Mama! His last wife died at his hands. It looks like that they need to be more crafty than him.
This movie has lead to other films years later. I liked it very much. It's a starter.
2 out of 5 stars.
Lang nu bai mo (1982)
They should have this as a anime!
This movie combines martial arts, horror, and fantasy all rolled into one. Here you have a woman who is raised by wolves. Gets involved in revenge of the death of her real parents. Teams up with others who are out to destroy the one who has caused a lot of misery.
Her fighting style and prowess comes in handy. In one part, she becomes feral when she drinks 5 pints of wine. Her animalistic instincts are in the void.
After watching the movie, it has got me thinking. Since it was fantastic, an animated version should be made. Once I see it's sequel, then I would make my final thought. It's a must see.
3 out of 5 stars.
Mike Hammer: Murder Takes All (1989)
It was fine
The Mickey Spillaine character, Mike Hammer(Stacy Keach) has a new case, that he doesn't want. He is later shanghaied from New York to Las Vegas. But when he reaches to his destination, he goes from a guest to a suspect.
The man who wants Mike Hammer to help with a legal battle gets killed during a Jerry Lewis like telethon. Everything points to Hammer. Knowing that he didn't kill him. Everyone wants to help Hammer out to clear his name, are getting killed by someone. Most of the whole thing is nothing but a wild goose chase. And there's evidence that wasn't even there. Filled with a great cast of guest stars. I enjoyed it very much.
3 out of 5 stars.
The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
ALL STAR FUN!!
I'm home again! New York to be exact. And it's great to see the sights of Manhattan. And it's an all-star line up of Jim Henson's Muppets. From "The Muppet Show"(1976-81) to Sesame Street to Fraggle Rock. They are the real stars of the film. The Muppets have a performance at a college and they decided to go to Broadway. When they get there, they go through a lot of rejection. When Kermit the Frog finally got someone to do the show, its a happy ending to say the least. Don't forget the episode when he had actress Linda Lavin as a guest on The Muppet Show for the birthday of Kermit. An improvement from the 1979, Muppet Movie. With that many guest stars, there's no skit!
5 stars!
Earthquake (1974)
A movie with seismic proportions
Natural disasters movies are always going to be a serious subject to the viewers. There's nothing funny about disasters, but as a learning process of what life really is. People get together when disasters strike. They normally put aside their differences and start helping out one another. Yet, there a those who take advantage. People start looting, commit crime, and other acts of indiscretion.
People have died in earthquakes, and the heroes who helped others have sacrificed their lives to save others. This movie has a all star cast. Many of them are big screen stars. Some like Lorne Greene is fresh from "Bonanza".
A great movie to watch, I remember this one well .
5 stars.
Gulliver's Travels (1939)
Heartwarming
A classic story of a big man in a little town. A washed up sailor lands on a beach near a small village, causing a stir. Meanwhile, two kings from different places are having a wedding for their children. Everything was perfect, until a conflict of songs used in the wedding. When one of the kings decided to wage war. When the people captured the giant, they get into a panic when he wakes up. Thinking they would be destroyed, but they see that he's a gentle giant. Relieved, they carry on.
It's a heart-warming story for all ages. Not Disney or MGM, the animation is just nice. A movie to call classic!!
5 stars!
They're Playing with Fire (1984)
It's like Private Lessons, Part 2 for Eric Brown
I remember Eric Brown in "Private Lessons" with Sylvia Kristel. In "They're Playing with Fire" he's with Sybil Danning. She in the movie play a English teacher in a Coastal college. She and her husband try to get a inheritance from the husband's mother and grandmother. Things get complicated when they are murdered by a masked killer. The student who she seduced gets to be part of the scheme. The girlfriend who wants to help ended up being murdered. The husband who wants the student who has seduced the wife turned out to be a gold digger. There's a family member who has been institutionalized is out for the inheritance.
This movie is a free for all for those who want to get the treasure. Unlike "Private Lessons", this movie is more intriguing.
3 out of 5 stars.
Too Fast Too Young (1996)
Average
When you have someone trying to settle you down, you better go for it. With all the chaos going on, living on the edge is not the way of life. He thinks that family is always loyal, but he sees it that's not the way. He has a cousin who escaped prison, and he has killed a lot of police officers.
With all the capers, cop killing is not on the list. Fencing items is what he does, robbery, and other larceny. He draws the line in killing law enforcement. So after the robbery, he wants out of it. So when he frames him on the crime he committed, he will go meet with another felon in the family.
It's a subtle film, not much star power. But highly watchable. 2 out of 5 stars.